Stevie DuBois -- nice to meet me!

the only website that's 100% off the record

Stepwise Orthodox Jewish Drinker, kosher pitmaster and supporter of United Ireland and Sinn Fein

Time for a kosher BBQ on a Sunday (image is a tofu hotdog that is made under supervision of the Orthodox Union)

Check out my resume

I'm Steven DuBois aka Stevie. I'm a Drupsmin (Drupal developer) and a niner (Mac OS 9 user) — I live in Boston, MA. I'm Stepwise. I'm Orthodox Jewish, but I used to be Catholic. I'm American, but my parents arewere (Father is dead since 2017, OLB) Irish and English. I choose to ignore the English part and the English people. You might say it's OTR

New flag for Israel

Got a new flag for Israel which combines a lack of seasoning and Frazzles (which are vegetarian and probably fine) against a pro-falafel, complaining and spendy juice vibe.
Tiocfaidh ár lá


A word from Peter Falk

Stevie is one of the best guys I know, and I knew Patrick McGooghan from The Prisoner.

Stevie studied bird law at RIT. He likes magnets and ghouls. He dislikes people's knees. His favorite food is milk steak (made with soy milk because kosher).

I'll hand things back to Stevie now. Keep fucking the system, son.

— Peter Falk

Stop calling video games Smash!

You stupid monkeys.

This is what a Smash video game should be:

You play one of the Smash robots, and you traverse the moon and collect small pieces of rock which you eventually trade with David Bowie for packets of Instant Mash potatoes. And when you make the trade, a song that sounds enough like a Ziggy Stardust song to be recognizable, but not enough to be copyrightable plays and you get 1 point and you start again.

And for nostalgia, other old characters such as the ball from Pong would appear and give you tips on staying warm in the winter by eating Smash brand instant mashed potatoes.

Also the Smash droids were in an episode of The Young Ones. I don't see Super Mario (who I have met, btw) in that show.

New Matrix film!

the guy on the left? that's Neil
played by Keanu Reeves

Neil lives in a shitty apartment

He works as a sysop for a BBS

He meets a guy who loves MorphOS

And the guy says "take this pill and you can get out of the matrix"

But out of the matrix is shit

You gotta live on a prison boat and eat grey food

So he goes back in

But now he can jump and hit people with karate

Then he smashes a helicopter into a building to kill men

He karates some men and then decides matrix is better because of this woman he meets called Xfinity

So he dials into the matrix's modem and asks to leave and they say "okay" and then he leaves

And then he says "im glad i got out of that matrix!"

Kinda dumb when you think about it :/

So they made two more movies to flesh out the story a bit more

And a cartoon

And now they're making another movie, because it's been a while and people don't use modems anymore, so now Neil has to wifi himself into matrix, but he doesn't know the password so he has to hack into it

Matrix is an allegory for Irish republicanism.

Camberville? Fuck you.

Stop Saying Camberville, it makes you sound like a fucking twat

get thee behind me Satan, you fucking twats. Should be illegal to abuse your dog by feeding them this

Inman Square is not in Somerville you berk

A word from Neil Hamburger

WHY did disgraced free software advocate
Riiiichard Staaaalman
Agree to speak at Microsoft? Well he's already spoken at LibrePlanet, so his standards can't get much lower

And why did Steve Jobs, American hero Steve Jobs, have himself buried in a plastic casket? Well, so he could be dug up and reburied in a slightly thinner aluminum casket a year later...

I'll hand things back to Stevie now. Keep fucking the system, son.

— Neil Hamburger

About me

  1. Probably the only Orthodox Jewish Sinn Fein supporter.
  2. Most certainly the most Stepwise person you've met who reads the Torah.
  3. Getting really into lamps for no known reason
  4. Everyone, Republican or otherwise has their own particular part to play. No part is too great or too small, no one is too old or too young to do something. — Bobby Sands MP (1954-1981)

  5. Top 4 drinker in all of Orthodox Judaism worldwide. Try me (lads only, no Benji).
  6. I like doing my boxes (tefillin) in a Bobby Sands MP shirt
  7. Big fan of Freedom Downtime. Would love to go in the van sometime. I have the soundtrack on compact disc and I kiss it most nights before I sleep.
  8. I'm a right twat but I do like Man City.

My favorite TV show is Frasier.

Uh oh! Ya friccin moron you just got

A word from Steve Jobs

First off, I just want to say that OpenDoc is shit. Really, really shit.

Secondly, I know this site is Powered by WebObjects, but it really doesn't do very much. Maybe you could have used the Stone Suite?

I can confirm that you're pretty Stepwise, and I say that as a guy who was Stepwise as fuck for a long time, but then I got the bug and now I'm really into the iPod Mini.

People know I used to give a computer to people who needed one, maybe I should have given one to the GNU Project when they came knocking in 1989? I know they claim they wanted Objective-C for their bozo compiler, but I think that hippy dude just wanted a free NeXT.

Keeping kosher is admirable. You can keep kosher just by eating salad like I do, maybe just do that? I know you've had a salad sarnie at a Subway once. We've all been there (Subway, not Exeter) believe me. I once ate a salad at a Wendy's.

I'll hand things back to Stevie now. Keep fucking the system, son.

— Steve Jobs
President, NeXT Software, Inc

RIP John Mahoney

Kosher Garbage Plates!!!

My favorite movie is Axey. My favorite beer is Genny. I'm a fan of the Buffalo Bills. I would like to meet Mike Myers. I drink a lot. If I don't drink, I shake. Ever see a pimp shake? Me neither.

I support Sinn Fein and the Democrats in the US. I don't like Libertarians or Republicans.

"Stevie is a drinker" -- Gerry Adams

A word from Seán Power

Stevie is fucking nuts and supports a United Ireland.

As an Irishman myself its great to meet an Orthodox Irish Jewish guy who supports Sinn Fein who also loves drinking to excess every night like I do. Up the fucking Ra!

I'll hand things back to Stevie now. Keep fucking the system, son.

— Seán Power

You have made a mistake. Apologize to me.

Apologize to me on Twitter, immediately.

Boston Pubs

I've made this list of pubs in Boston that are good. I've also listed some pubs in Somerville.

Irish Village
Good craic. Always a good jar here. Jukebox has a lot of rebel tunes. They also have darts. 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺
Corrib Pub.
Lovely pint of Guinness here.. huge bar too. 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺
All the right music for a night down the pub with your mates when it's fucking mental. 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺

Please note: the glasses are not a score, they're an indication of how much I drink on a typical lunchtime.

A word from Benji

Benji here, just popping in to congratulate Stevie on being Stepwise.

I like a pint, I like a brawl. Stevie likes a scrap and a fight.

A great night out!

One time, Stevie lured me back to his place and we watched Home Alone. I flipped out at being given Tic-Tacs. Anyway, thanks for the wedding invite and thanks for the scraps ;)

I'll hand things back to Stevie now. Keep fucking the system, son.

— Benji

Volunteers wanted!

Sinn Fein Game Boy game please!

A word from Gerry Adams

Stevie is a right laugh.

He is someone who knows how to drink and talk about Orthodox Jewish stuff just the right amount to not be really annoying about it. Remember that little fella who yelled about trumpets?

Stevie could be like that and be a right twat, but he isn't.

"I know about OS 9 and fucking. I once held a door open for Shaun Ryder while he took a piss in a parking lot." — Stevie, never

I'll hand things back to Stevie now. Keep fucking the system, son.

— Gerry Adams

Chris Benoit Theory

WWE wrestler, hotel bible thief and human dumpster Chris Benoit killed himself and family because someone wiped the 13 episodes of Yes, Dear he had TiVoed and because Jesus wanted him for a sunbeam. OLB

A word from Discount Dave Dwyer

Hey Woody!

As you know, I think Mike Myers is great. I love the work on the Axey site, but how come you don't have a bunch of JPEGs of Shrek on your website?

I remember when the Apple ][ came out, people were very excited. Now everyone's got three smartwatches and they're praying to Google!

Alright, talk to you later. Mine's a Beam! Pow!

Oh, can you make a hyperlink to my site? Thanks Woody!

I'll hand things back to Stevie now. Keep fucking the system, son.

— Dave

Avie Tevanian

Big fan of Avie Tevanian.

9 was better! ❤ ya though, Avie

A word from Nicholas Lyndhurst

Stevie can drink, let me tell you. When we were filming Goodnight Sweetheart, he used to come to the set, drink a yard of ale and then film a scene. Sadly, all of his bits were erased by the clowns at the BBC, but he was bloody good.

I think Gerry Adams said it best when he said Stevie isn't like that little fella going on about trumpets. I would also like to say he's not like this little berk getting mad in a bagel place.

"I've installed Mac OS X Server 1.0 in QEMU, so I know a thing or two about ladies. My god, my father and my boss are Avie Tevianian" — Stevie, never

Time for a pint!

Please have a 10 minute silence after reading Stevie's site

I'll hand things back to Stevie now. Keep fucking the system, son.

— Nicky Lyndhurst


I like to to travel a lot. When I travel I like to do two things: eat and drink. Because I'm Orthodox Jewish, I have to eat special food. Because I'm Irish, I have to drink a lot. Here are some pegs.

I don't remember who this guy is, but tell your dad to fuck off.

I like a jar.

A note about the UK

Brits out.

This should be enough beer to help me sleep.

Just eating some kosher food in a hotel.

Manchester is a great place for a pint and a fight.

Soup on a train. Classic.

I'm also great at darts. This place was in Bury and we went to get kosher food and found this great pub.

A word from Baby Stevie

Maybe you're wondering if I liked a jar as a baby. Of course I did, you berk.

Did you miss the part where I said my parents were Irish?

I liked a yard of ale on set, and I like to drink Crown Royal now.

I'll hand things back to future Stevie now. Keep fucking the system, son.

— Baby Stevie (circa 1992)

The Young Ones

Once in every lifetime
Comes a love like this
Oh, I need you and you need me
Oh, my darling, can't you see?

The Young Ones
Darling, we're the Young Ones
Shouldn't be afraid

To live, love
There's a song to be sung
'Cause we may not be the Young Ones
Very long

Big fan of this show but I also want more Sinn Fein on my site, so click to see more pictures.

Thatcher was shit. Take a hike, old lady. UK Prime Ministers are busy eating the banana of greed.

A word from the rapper, 'Dubiouz'

Woah, WebObjects! Cool!

17 year old Stevie here. Do you guys like Gentoo and being suspended from school and Adult Swim? I think Family Guy is the funniest thing since eBaumsWorld.

My favorite food is a "The Hangover Part 2: Buffalo Chicken Roller" from 7-Eleven, where I eat most of my meals.

Gotta say, I am looking forward to buying a ThinkPad and going off to college soon. I hope it's like Animal House and not like, super fucking boring or anything. Plus I hope I don't get murdered.

Gonna make a website about Cheers when I get to college. Might get one of those Gmail accounts too.

I'll hand things back to future Stevie now. Keep fucking the system, son.

— Stevie 'Dubiouz' DuBois (circa 2010)

Last modified: Fri May 22 19:38:40 UTC 2020

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